February 10, 2012

In My Heart at This Moment

(this has nothing to do with crafting and I understand if you close this window at any time. I am writing what is in my heart and that may not be for everyone. But mostly I am writing what I needed to read)

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Do you ever have moments that your brain runs faster than your voice of reason? Or faster still, than your faith?
Often times my thoughts go off, and don't stop regardless of what I do to distract myself.

They race faster and faster to a place that is wrought with worry and fear, anxiety and panic, and before I know what's what, I'm sitting in front of the computer Google-ing things that are fuel to the flame.

If you're a mother, I'm sure you know what I mean. Every mother can get there with concern over her child. You know the "will he do well in school?" "will he make friends?" "will he be SCARRED for life because he watches TV while I cook dinner???"...and then the late nights "I should have done this..." "we didn't do enough of that..." "I shouldn't have done that other thing"...it never ends, the concern for our precious children. And this is true for all mothers. If you are never like this, I applaud you.and ask you....HOW? Whether the child is sick or not. Young or old. "Typical" or "special".  Mothers worry.  Heck...WOMEN worry.

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via Media Cn

HOWEVER, I think that us "special" moms (meaning momma's of children with special needs) can get there more often and with far more speed. And with much scarier Google search results.
THAT'S when I cling to God and His truths. No amount of Google-ing and reading and studying, will cease the race of thoughts. Nor will they change the present or future. However, there is both comfort and hope in GOD.

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I find solace in the words written in my dishevel old Bible. I find strength in the knowledge of having a God bigger than my fears. I find my faith again, in Him. I may not know what tomorrow brings, or what the next year brings...but HE does. And He cares. He cares SO much more than we give Him the credit for. He eagerly awaits for us to seek him, to talk to him, to hand Him our worries! Yet we keep them, hoarding them. Rather then putting them where they belong...they are poison in our hands and minds, but so small and benign in His. 

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I thank God because my son is progressing well, and is at this moment happy and without any serious concern. I know I am blessed with his health and joy. With his whole little being that is absolutely PERFECT in my eyes. And I know I have no reason to worry that is worth worrying about. Not right now. And even when I have and do...I have a God who is bigger than my problems can ever be.

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11 comments:

  1. Love this! That quote by Corrie ten Boom seems like the perfect mantra for mamas everywhere.

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  2. I think you need to talk to my friend Kat http://mummastimetocreate.blogspot.com/ she's been doing some parental pondering today, and I think she might need a boost.

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  3. Dorian, thank you so much for opening up to us!! Oh my do we women/mommas worry! My son has been sick for a week and reading this post hit home... Should I do this or not give him that... I can't say I even begin to know the things you go through. I feel so blessed to have met you through the bloggy world! You are such an inspiration, I hope you know that! Keep posting what's on your heart! Xoxo

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  4. Ahhh, this was a beautiful post. Written beautifully .....your lovely heart shined through.

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  5. Thank you for sharing. So glad you did :).

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  6. Great Blog! I look forward to reading more. I am your newest follower. I would appreciate it if you took a moment to check out my blog and follow me back! Thanks! http://milliemorganmedia.blogspot.com

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  7. "Mostly I am writing what I needed to read." THAT is a powerful thing to do and a powerful thing to say. I think your words are going to help a lot of people.

    We spend so much time worrying, over big things and small things, and that's such an isolating experience. I'm glad you're reaching out, forming connections and helping other people find connections too, because your faith IS so strong. You are powerful and inspiring -- and I'm so glad your son is progressing.

    Thank you so much for sharing this glimpse into your life as a parent. You deserve celebration!

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  8. Yes. Amen. So well said.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog and saying hello. How funny that we both wrote along similar lines. I love your faith and philosophy.
    Lovely to "meet" you :)

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  9. Wow, I needed to read this so thank you for writing it! We have a lot of unknowns right now with our little boy and I know just what you mean about those scary Google search results. Thank you for your obedience to write these truths - they are so encouraging!
    sara @ applestonedrive.blogspot.com

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  10. You are doing the right thing by reminding yourself the truth of what the Scriptures say about God. This is the place to run when we fear and doubt. It appears from the other comments that God used you to remind other Moms as well. I am a new follower. I signed on to read about knitting, but was encouraged to see where your heart is as well. Good to know we are sisters in Christ! Keep on telling yourself the Truth and running to our Sovereign God who is in control of all things!

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Your comments mean a lot to me, I read every last one of them! Thank you for taking the time!

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